01 / The profile
About me
I make things wet, put my hands all over them, and occasionally get paid for it.
Internationally collected. Locally available. Not afraid to get a little dirty.
I work with my hands. I know my way around a large canvas. And unlike most men, I finish what I start — typically in eight to twelve weeks.
Looking for: someone who appreciates a man with a creative side, an oversized brush, and an unreasonable number of paint-stained pants.
- Location
- Des Moines, Iowa. Frequently spotted on tall buildings.
- Height
- Thirty feet, with the lift.
- Studio
- Mainframe Studios #379, third floor.
- Status
- Married to my craft.
- Actually available?
- For commissions? Absolutely.
- Commitment
- 8–12 weeks. The emotional part may take longer.
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Charlie. Non-negotiable. Comes with the commission.
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“I travel for inspiration.” Annoyingly, this one is true.
02 / Prompts
Ask me anything
(he will make it about painting)
-
The way to my heart is…
Telling me the wall looks even bigger in person.
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My love language is…
Physical touch. Mostly with brushes. Occasionally with a roller.
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I get turned on by…
Good lighting, clean lines, and a wall nobody else has touched.
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My biggest red flag is…
I have an entire building covered in my work and still need you to tell me I did a good job.
-
A perfect first date…
Something romantic downtown. Then I show you a wall I painted. Then another wall. Then another wall.
-
We’ll get along if…
You understand that “almost done” is a feeling, not a timeline.
03 / The main event
Swipe on Ben
Go on. He’s been waiting. He has been painting the whole time, but he’s been waiting.
Premium
Ben Shoe, 1 mural away
Artist. Muralist. Certified wall banger.
Tip: arrow keys work too.
04 / Compatibility
Find your sole mate
Three questions. Absolutely no science. You will be matched with a medium, because that is the only kind of relationship on offer here.
05 / FAQ
Questions he gets a lot
(allegedly)
How big is your brush?
Big enough that I usually need a lift.
Are you good with your hands?
I have made an entire career out of it.
How long can you go?
Custom commissions typically last eight to twelve weeks.
Rough or smooth?
Depends entirely on the surface. Brick needs a little more attention.
What’s your favorite position?
Standing on a scissor lift, thirty feet above a sidewalk.
Do you like to experiment?
Oil, watercolor, leather, fiber, sculpture. I am very open‑minded.
Can I see you naked?
No. But you may see my bare canvas.
Do you have a foot fetish?
It is Ben Shoe, not Ben’s Foot. Have some respect.
Written by his friends. Ben has said none of this.
06 / The drop
THE BEN SHOE™
Put a little Ben in your step.
- Handmade in Des Moines
- Internationally admired
- Looks better after a few drinks
- Guaranteed to leave a lasting impression
- Some assembly of your dignity required
$69.69 (fictional)
Free shipping. Emotional baggage sold separately.
Want to see something scandalous?
07 / No jokes here
The actual artist
Everything above is a bit, made by a friend. Ben Schuh is a real artist working out of downtown Des Moines — murals, oil, watercolor, fiber, leather, sculpture — with work collected in the United States, Canada and Europe.
- “Cheers From Des Moines” — the mural at Exile Brewing, one of his best-known public pieces.
- Community Foundation of Greater Des Moines — a second prominent Des Moines commission.
- Mainframe Studios #379 — third floor, painting and murals.
- Commissions — genuinely do take eight to twelve weeks. That part was never a joke.